Adventures of Gabe McSparkle

Being Thankful.

The Boy in return challenged me to name some of the things for which I am thankful so in no particular order . .

I'm thankful for my family. David makes me laugh, makes me want to pull out my hair, understands my need for COLD, pushes my buttons, brings me chocolate and Dr. Pepper and loves me despite my many annoying traits (organized chaos, always hot, need to take pictures at all occasions). I love him a fat ton. The Boy is the best thing that ever happened to me and while he, too, can push my buttons? I love him with every square inch of my heart. He brings me joy, he makes my heart smile. And each time I want to pull out my hair I remember there will be a time when he doesn't want to hang out with me. I'm thankful I have been given the privilege of being his mom. Jethro is awesome and I so love him more.

I'm thankful for my parents, who are always there when I need them. Who take joy in The Boy and have him over for sleepovers or Early Release Days or random Wednesdays I have to work late. Who bring me a coke every Sunday morning to make my morning's go smoother. They are awesome and I love them, too.

My brothers (and their wives) - because I know that right this minute if I called and needed them they would help. Except Matthew might make a fuss about it but deep down I know he loves me, too. And I'm crazy thankful for them giving me awesome nephews. Tyler and Kaleb make life even more fun and I can't wait for the day they call over to Auntie Shan and Uncle Dave and ask for a sleepover. We are So There.

I'm incredibly blessed and thankful that we had a family vacation to the beach with awesome friends. It was a wonderful week of relaxing and laughing and fun. I look back over the pictures and see how carefree that week was and I'm thankful we had the chance to do it. I've always loved the beach and it's my Happy Place. Makes it even more awesome to go to your Happy Place with friends that are like family.

I'm thankful for my job. While I don't know what the next week, month, year holds? I am doing something I Love and I'm thankful that Monday through Friday I am able to do it. I am thankful for the families I am allowed to work with and help. I'm thankful that some days I do make a difference.

I'm thankful for coworkers who've become friends. I'm thankful that I laugh each day. I'm thankful for Friday lunches and long trips with Paternity Test Tuesdays. Listening ears when I need to vent. Help when you need to phone a friend. I'm thankful that some coworker friends have become like family.

I'm thankful for cars that have heat and air & run each day. I'm thankful for a house, my bed with my favorite covers. For the dog that alerts me when something is amiss (but not for the same dog when she gets in the trash and shreds it all over the house *ahem*). I'm thankful for my red chair. And the freezer full of rice socks that help me make it through the night.

I'm thankful for books to read to get lost in a story - and I'm thankful Dee Henderson wrote a new book. I'm thankful for my Kindle on which I can read the awesome books. And for the awesome apps like Words with Friends and Diner Dash which allow me to pass the time and detox from a rough day.

I'm thankful for my camera and the gift of being able to take pictures. While I sometimes wish it was in the plans for me to do it More or even as a side job, I take joy in knowing that I have managed to snap many memories over the past 8+ years. I love looking through the drive and seeing the images captured.

I am thankful for my kids at church. For the now 3rd Graders that were in our first class and the kids we have now. For the joys I have each Wednesday night in Awana. For the group of kids that faithfully come on Sundays to sing in the musical. I'm thankful that they love and accept me even though I'm far from perfect.


I'm thankful Christmas. It's my most favorite holiday in the world. I put the tree up the first week of November and enjoy it for two straight months. The hymns and songs at this time of year are The Best. I cannot imagine what it was like that first Christmas many years ago. How Mary felt knowing that her son was here to save the world. I'm thankful for traditions and magic and hope and love.

I'm thankful for miracles. For the fact that I am here but even more recently for the fact that my friend's daughter was Healed. I'm thankful for community - for knowing that sometimes it is bigger than you can imagine.

I'm thankful for chocolate and for Mojo's that makes good chocolate. I'm thankful for Dr. Pepper and fountain cokes. I'm thankful for water with Propel. And Moe's burritos. And Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. Amen.

I'm thankful that Kleenex put lotion in the tissues so I don't rub my nose raw. And that there are products that help tame my hair from being an out-of-control-nest. And vanilla-scented sanitizer.

And for a Heavenly Father, His Son and the empty tomb that third day.

Thirty Days of Thankful - The Rest.

I have tried my hardest to blog each day. In a perfect world? I would have posts like these typed ahead of time and scheduled to post. But let's all be honest here - I'm a procrastinator! I thrive on last minute! There are a billion other things I need and want to do! I admit I chose playing on the Kindle instead! I'm always at the last minute with things - well, except for putting up the Christmas tree . . .

So I'm lumping together a bunch of thankful for the remainder of the month because I'm awesome like that. And because this is the last of my extra free time before getting back to the grind after the holiday . . . 

After inquiring the things The Boy is most thankful for? I give you Thirty Days of Thankful - The Rest. 

Day 13 - Legos. They are the single greatest invention in The Boy's Life. He thinks they are awesome except when he tries to play with them because then they break. He thinks he might want to have a Lego birthday party next year . . .

Day 14 - The DS. Santa really got it right when he brought the 3DS last year! Favorite game is currently Monster Jam but The Boy has high hopes for a WipeOut game this Christmas! When his nose is not stuck in a book or racing on the Kindle, he has the DS in hand. And he has chronicled all the things he is thankful for using his DS camera!

Day 15 - Lego Ninjago. By far the best show next to Annoying Orange, WipeOut and the Turtle Man, The Boy was on the edge of his seat for the Epic Battle. On this year's Christmas list are several Ninjago sets! It will be no surprise that the red ninja is our favorite.

Day 16 - Shooting in tournaments. The Boy was able to participate in the Kid's Appreciation Night at The Shop and had a blast. He shot well for having not shot a bow in 23497 years a good while. Even won a door prize!

Day 17 - Double Thankful! Part one is Hunting - The Boy went out with Dave this morning to hunt and while they only killed time and a wasp? A good time was had and plans are already in the making for the next trip. And then part two was Jeremy's birthday party at Oxbow where The Boy touched a plethora of snakes and even a tortoise. He is thinking that Oxbow might be a good birthday party choice, but I'm fairly certain this is only so because the birthday boy gets to briefly wear a snake around their neck!

Day 18 - The Boy is thankful for the Ice Rink. It's one of his favorite things to do whenever he gets the chance to head downtown to ice skate. I admire his ability to skate because I feel like even if I had a walker? I'd still fall down!

Day 19 - Jack & Annie Books. Magic Tree House books are a go-to for The Boy this year as he works to soar through AR points. There is a Braves game on the line if he gets to 200. And a Lego when he gets half-way. So far his favorite book has been Afternoon on the Amazon.

Day 20  - Annoying Orange. Yeah please let the record reflect I'm certainly not that thankful for this but every kid has that one annoying thing they enjoy that pushes their parents over the edge. For some it's Barney (thank you Jesus it wasn't for us) others it's Elmo (been there, done that). And remember those stinkin Teletubbies? Yeah. Now it's Annoying Orange the dumbest show on the planet. He's thankful for it, loves their Gangnam style parody and looks forward to new episodes.

Day 21 -  Kaleb. The Boy got to spend the day at BigMama's and Kaleb was there as well. The Boy states every time I go to BigMama's I mostly see him and sometimes and I get to play with him. It's about to be his birthday in December. He normally plays with his toys or sleeps. And I love him.

Day 22 - Thanksgiving - The Boy says Every Thanksgiving somebody in your family has a Thanksgiving party and you can go there and eat turkey. The Boy had a blast this Thanksgiving when he went hunting with Daddy *and* they got a deer! Then we all had a fun time and good food at Auntie Amber & Uncle Matthew's. The day was rounded out with playing with the neighbors & spending the night in the living room while watching Wipe-Out. The best part was that the entire house was asleep by 9:30!

Day 23 - Diary of a Wimpy Kid - It's the best time ever since there is a new Wimpy Kid book! And bonus? UPS brought it to our doorstep Wednesday night! The Boy could be found curled up with the book when not speeding in a race on the Kindle Fire. Tonight before bed as he read he told me I can't believe I am already half-way finished with this book!

Day 24 - Mommy - Most of the time I spend time with you and all the time you take care of me. You watch TV with me. I love you because you love me too And then I melt into a puddle of love. He's Awesome.

Day 25 - My Uncles  (and Aunties!)- They are wild and I'm pretty sure you don't like that. Sometimes they just get so wild you get on to me for it (me: is it that you wanted to point that out? or maybe you could just tell us why is it you are thankful) - They are wild and most of the time I go to their houses they throw the football with me. And I call them Auntie because Matthew taught me who to do it. And I love them.

Day 26 - Grandparents - I get to spend the night with them some nights. 

Papa: he plays cards with me some nights when I spend the night. BigMama: because I mostly help her and sometimes she helps me and she makes me cheeseburger macaroni. 

Granny: I barely get to see her and I hate that. We get to go camping with her and when I go to the lake every morning I get up and go to her camper and I always sit with Papa Ronnie and watch TV

Day 27 - Tyler -Cousins are awesome. The Boy says: Every time I see him he likes to throw the ball with me or wrestles with me. I also try to hold him but he won't sit on my lap. That's all.

Day 28 - Daddy - He takes me to the Archery Shop and he's also the music teacher at my school. And he watches Wipeout and Call of the Wildman with me. And I love him.

Day 29 - Friends - I'm thankful for my friends and they are Alex, Jaxon, Aidan, Riley, Garrett, Jeremy, Tripp, Owen, Max, Nathyn, Landon. Jaxon first moved to Texas and then he moved to Tennessee. If I could have one thing for Christmas I would go visit him. Alex goes on vacations and stuff with me. The only thing that stunk about our Six Flags trip this year was it rained. Aidan use to go to school with me and he came to church but then he moved schools in 2nd grade but now in 3rd grade he came back to church. At my birthday this year I hope that Jeremy, Garrett, Riley and Landon can sleepover.

Day 30 - God - He created the earth. Hey did He write the Bible? Oh wait no Moses wrote Genesis. We go to church to worship Him and learn about Him. My favorite verse is For the God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son - that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. 

And there you have it - The Boy's Thankful Thirty. He challenged me to list the things I'm thankful for as well. They can be found HERE 

Good Intentions

I always have such good intentions of blogging more. Then I spend 23482734 hours billing in BIBS and typing reports and working on case notes, playing Words With Friends and Draw Something and Bubble Something Or Another., reading book, watching important shows like The Bachelorette and The Glee Project. And if I didn't need this pesky thing called sleep I feel confident I would be posting every day. And speaking of sleep, I've been rather lacking in that department and it shows - this morning I washed my hair then when I put some soap in my hands? Washed my hair again with the soap. Not to be confused with waking the other day and not knowing what day of the week it was. But I digress. 

We've been busy and having fun around these parts! There are many nights spent working on Legos (added bonus is when Lego Ninjago is built while watching Lego Ninjaog - Winning)

 

 

There have been birthday parties - with slip & slides!

We've spent time hanging with family and friends - with a ton of that time spent swimming

 Trips to Chill with good friends where we write things like Little Red Wagon all over the wall

 And just the other day we celebrated the 4th with a low country boil!

I would say that I pinky swear to blog more - but instead I will be honest with myself and say I Will Try To Blog More Soon. Big fun coming up for our family with our Annual Trip To Six Flags, a vacation and gearing up for starting back to school! Y'all be safe and make good choices. I'll be back soon. ~ Shan.

Happy Father's Day!

Dear Dave, Remember that one time I ruined the fishing trip? And then Father's Day? Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I hope that this year has been much better in terms of it's awesomeness. In honor of your 9th Father's Day I wanted to share 9 Awesome Things About The Boy's Dad.

(1) You have a motorcycle. I mean, what could be cooler? Such major cool points. But I'm still not gonna ride it.

(2) You take the trash to the street. And cut the grass. You know what would make you even more awesome? If you did those two things *and* cleaned the bathroom. A girl can dream . . . But I am so thankful you cut the grass (hello allergies!) and I detest nothing more than taking those cans to the street Sunday and Wednesday nights.

(3) You clean up your dishes when you cook breakfast. HAHAHAHA oh wait you don't. But you make awesome omelets. And you are great at grilling corn and ribs. Mmm ribs. And steak.We should really grill out soon

(4) You help with the legos. I mean let's face it - I can look at that stinkin picture all day long but hooking the string through the anchor? Not my forte.

(5) You take me fishing. Sometimes. Okay not in a long time. But remember that time we went fishing and you made me bait my own hook? Then I caught 6 fish with the same worm? Good times. And you take The Boy fishing, too. And he loves that. We should really find a boat and go fishing.

(6) We laugh together. Who wants to be serious all the time? That would be boring.

(7) We have fun. Like with picture stickers. Remember how those all started? Trail mix in the dryer, a pocket, the archery bag. Good times!

(8) You can appreciate the snooze button. I just wish I could teach you that the appreciation is So Much Greater when the initial alarm goes off at, say, 6:15 a.m. instead of 4:30 a.m.

(9) You're awesome. True story - I polled The Boy on what would be on his list and this one made his list, too!

Happy Father's Day Dave! We love you!

It Wasn't Good . . . It Was AWESOME

The Boy celebrated 8 with festivities over several days. The Day Of he had Big Plans - Waffle House for breakfast, a motorcycle ride with dad, The Avengers in 3D, swimming at Big Mama's and then dinner at El Carrizo. It wasn't good - it was AWESOME

Then on Sunday we hit up El Carrizo again for dinner with the family. Everyone came and The Boy had a blast eating some of his favorite food for the second time in a weekend. And we had cake! And he wore the big hat! And they sang! It wasn't good - it was AWESOME

AND THEN the Par-tay! Friday night ice skating. Friends came and skating was done, pizza was eaten, and the Best Cake He Ever Had was eaten. AND *2* friends came to sleepover. It wasn't good - it was AWESOME

I have to say I feel like birthday #8 was a huge success! And then just last night I was asked 'so what do you think I should do for my *ninth* birthday?' Would you expect any less? Happy Birthday Jethro! Looking forward to all the fun things 8 has in store for us!

In Honor of Birthday Number 8

(Posted every June 8th - originally written 6 years prior . . . )

Do you believe in second chances? At one time, I just wasn't so sure. I thought I had life all figured out. I knew who I was and what I wanted, and I was well on my way to what I had always dreamed of. What did I need a second chance for, anyway?

But sometimes? Well, sometimes life just happens. You aren't expecting it. You have all these plans. You know that this plus this will equal that and that is what you feel will bring fulfillment. Yet, then ~ then life takes a turn. And you find yourself in a situation you never imagined ~ one you could never have dreamed. And this event? It changes who you are, what you value, and what you hold dear.

Life for me began with the birth of my son ~ an event that came with joy, with heartache, with trials, and with several ups and downs that we personally never saw coming. But isn't that how life works?

Eli was born June 8th, 2004 via c-section at 2:27 a.m. after my laboring for forty forevers I swear. He had traumatic birth injuries, which included a battered and bruised up head and a broken nose. That dream I had just weeks before where Eli told me he was stuck? By gosh he sure was.

He wasn't exactly that little pink bundle of baby that some are, but he was ours, and we were smitten. David especially. His first child ~ his son. All those insecurities he had about being a father? Went straight out the window the first time he held him. It was as though David had been a father all his life, so easily did he take up the role.

It wasn't all happily-ever-after just yet for my family, though. We did not do the stay a few nights, put on the going-home outfit, take tons of pictures, and then go home. I have no clue what my son wore home, and there are no pictures of that event. There were so many things that I missed ~ so many firsts I never had with my baby. For instead of doing all things mommy, I was full-force into the greatest challenge I have ever faced ~ and hope I never face the likes of which again.

I stared death in the face Friday, June 11th, 2004. That night, my heart rate registered close to 200. My oxygen level dropped to a registered 40. With my husband on my left pleading me to breathe, a nurse on my right staring at the numbers on the machine not really knowing just what to do, and my mother standing in the corner holding my son who cringed with each cry I had in pain, I left myself for a brief moment. I stood there looking in from the doorway. I saw it all happening before me. It was odd, me standing there, but I only had one thought: "God don't take me yet. Please." My intentions were purely selfish ~ I knew my husband needed me to help raise our son.

I was transferred to ICU that night, where I would remain for nearly a week. I would sit in my ICU room, waiting for the brief ten-minute sessions my husband could come visit every two hours. I did not speak much. I never asked of my son. Truth be told, I rarely gave him a second thought. I had no idea what my baby looked like, who was taking care of him, where he was ~ nothing. I only knew that the doctors really had no clue what was wrong with me. And that I would give anything for something to drink ~ more specifically grape juice or a coke from Sonic. I went for nearly two weeks with nothing by mouth. Nothing meant I could not swallow ice chips. I could not brush my teeth. Eating was out of the question. Yet, every single thought was clouded by just how much I wished for an ice-cold glass of grape juice. My husband would come, sit, hold my hand & tell me of how he wished we could trade places ~ of how sorry he was I was experiencing this. And I would stare at him thinking "well by God if I was standing here visiting you, I would leave after my ten minutes and go sit out in the waiting room drinking me a huge glass of grape juice. Then I would go to Sonic and get that Coke. And I would drink the entire time I was out there". That, my friends, is what I was consumed with.

Guilt? Yes, I still to this day have the guilt. I wonder how I could possibly care so much for grape juice and not give one lick about my son and his well being.

What I have come understand? I couldn't let myself care. I did not want to see my son. I did not want to see that face - to hold him - if he was going to be taken away again. It was too much hurt to let myself get close only to know that it wouldn't last.

Meanwhile, I was in a daily fight against something unknown. My doctors had test after test after test performed, never really finding an answer. Maybe we should check your kidneys? Yes, we'll do a dye test on your kidneys. Well, that wasn't it so maybe we should try another CT scan with contrast. Nope, nothing there. Meanwhile my daily chest x-rays are looking worse and worse. I remember telling my nurse "what they are doing just isn't working". Yet each day, I was pushed in my bed down to x-ray, the rows of lights passing and passing as I look up. And the smells of the back halls. The stares from people as I am pushed past. Where's David? And then there he is, sitting holding my hand. My NG tube unplugged. Transferred to the tank of oxygen. Having to maneuver from bed to hard x-ray mat, and requiring the help of three persons to do so with all attached. And still nothing.

I'm finally transferred back to a regular room. I have had two units of someone's blood transfused in my body. My belly has swollen to two times the size of me at 9 months with Eli. I'm still not allowed to drink anything. There are photos that show I held my son - briefly for I stayed in pain - but I have no recollection. I opt for a central-line to be placed in my neck, as the nurses have blown every single vein in both my arms. By far this was the best decision we made during my 25 days.

And then Saturday, June 19th comes along and with it an angel - Nurse Gloria. She comes in that Saturday morning and doesn't say much to me, even though my back is in spasms and I'm begging for something for pain. She tells me "just a minute sweetie". And she goes out to call the surgeon and the OB. The surgeon? He doesn't think he's needed; yet she insists and prevails. The surgeon comes, and she has my chart flagged with all the places he needs to consider. After looking it over, I meet him only to find that in two hours I will have emergency surgery.

It isn't known for a fact and written down for all to see, but I can tell you that Gloria saved my life that day. My surgery took over an hour. What we now know? During my c/s I tore. Pretty bad. Two of my arteries in my uterus were cauterized. Every time they would get one area of bleeding stopped, another would start. I was open for some time during all this, putting me at risk for infection. During that emergency surgery, the surgeon found over a liter of infection between my pelvis and uterus. I had a partial bowel obstruction. My lungs were filling up with nearly 2L of fluid.

I must tell you, I have no known greater fear than that day. When my husband stood by my side with tears in his eyes, I was afraid. I did not think I was strong enough for this surgery. I did not think I would live to see myself open my eyes. My husband was going to have to plan my funeral, my son grow up without a mother. I wanted this whole experience to just be over. I didn't want to do this anymore. I was tired of being poked, prodded. I wanted to go home.

I woke up in ICU on a ventilator the next day. I am told I received two more units of blood (God bless those angels that donated). There is a piece of paper I still have where I wrote to my nurse. This paper includes things like "where is my husband“ I want my husband" and "did they find anything". I would signal for someone to take my mittens off, never opening my eyes. I would write to them and they would answer. I wrote "Happy Father's Day" to David, for that Sunday when I woke up was, indeed, his first Father's Day.

I remember when they took out my ventilator. When my husband came up that day, I took off my oxygen mask and spoke as quickly as I could before the machines beeped that my level was too low. I told him this: "He carried me. David, God carried me" ~ just like in the Footprints poem.

June 23rd I met my son for what I remember as the first time. He did not care that I had a line in my neck or a mask on my face. He did not care that my arms were nothing but bruises, and that I had to have help just to hold him. He did not care that his mommy could only manage to hold him for a few minutes at the time. It did not matter that I had never fed him, or changed him, or that I wasn't there at night to put him to sleep or feed him at 3 AM when he was starving. Nor did it matter that I missed his first sponge bath and his first real bath. It only mattered that I was there. You could see in his eyes that even though I hadn't been there? He knew me. Before I knew him, he knew me. And he loved me.

This, my friends, is my story. This is my defining moment in life. For this experience changed me. I found an inner strength I never knew existed. I found that friends and family and even people I have never met prayed for me and thought of me during that time. I found that my husband is my rock and he was there for me when I could do no more than wish for coke. I found a love inside me bigger than life itself ~ a love for a little boy with a crooked nose that loved me when I was afraid to love him.

I had a hard time dealing with this, my 25 days. There were tears. There was anger. There are still pains and physical scars that may never go away. I still find my heart in my throat when the doors to the postpartum floor open and it takes all that is in me to step off when all I want to do is run. The sight of the x-ray hallway brings a pain to my heart and I feel I may suffocate. I am terrified of being stuck for an IV. I fear being put to sleep for surgery. And we now know that there will be no more babies for my body.

I still have very little memories of things that happened before all this ~ meaning those memories from childhood are sketchy at best and what was high school again? I don't remember much about college or the things I did. I remember very little about dating David, and just a few things about being pregnant.

I'm making new memories, though. David, Eli and I ~ we're having our own firsts. Each day is some little thing - some little moment I treasure. We've moved from cuddling in the big bed to sleeping in the big boy bed. (And now we're down the hall with legos on the top bunk, bed on the bottom) We like Elmo, but have a bigger love for the movie Cars. (Cars will always have a special place in our heart but Captain America, the Avengers & Lego Ninjago are our loves. We still love playing with friends, love to play baseball and think dangerous animals are awesome) Waffle House beats out chicken nuggets any day. (And probably always will!). And I'm mommy ~ I get the best hugs and mouth sugar (Yup, I'm still The Best). Memories, my friends, which will be there for me when I'm old and have great-grandchildren someday.

What do I hope to teach you be telling you my experience? Well, it's not the lesson of never let Dr. Eikelberry do your c-section.

No ~ what I learned from this experience is this: You are Strong. Yes, you. You possess an inner strength the likes of which are unknown. You have a gift that is so easy to share: your love. Family and friends ~ they are great treasures. Hold them dear, keep them close. Take the time to cuddle up. Those times with friends - with family - they will far outweigh any possession in your hands.

Don't be afraid. There's something out there bigger than all of us ~ I have experienced it first hand. You must have faith and hope, along with your courage. You can count on your friends - family - those you love to be there to help you make it through even the toughest times. God hears prayers. And He's there even in the darkest hours. Never lose hope. Even when it seems like you can't take one more thing, hang on to hope.

And always know that those times you can't take the steps? He'll be there to carry you